Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Richard Dawkins. Some of my best friends are Richard Dawkins. However, he does have some painfully cringeworthy moments. Take this example from Faith School Menace:
My favourite child is the one who eagerly has their hand up, probably to ask to go to the loo, before giving up and lowering their arm with a look of crushed disappointment. From then on, that child only knew Richard Dawkins as ‘the man who made me wet myself in assembly’.
Those poor children really aren’t digging the ‘alternative assembly’. You can see it in their glazed eyes. They’re thinking: “we’ve had to miss morning playtime for this? For fucks sake.” Dawkins tries his hardest to keep the children’s attention, trying to be some affable Dumbledore figure. Someone who will inspire the kiddies to use logic and reason. Cue some Sigur Ros style music and a few questions from the young ‘uns before fading to black. Vom.
It was all so stilted and saccharine. Richard Dawkins isn’t Dumbledore. He’s Richard Dawkins. He makes very well-argued points against God’s existence, and in this particular documentary made an excellent case for ending faith school segregation and indoctrination. He’s a profoundly eloquent and thoughtful man, but he doesn’t half do some cheesy stuff.
Another idea of his that makes me cringe is his suggestion that all atheists should be called ‘Brights’. How very twee. Can you imagine what would happen if you told someone that you were a ‘Bright’? You’d probably get twatted for being a pompous bell end. “Oh yes, you’re a Christian, and I’m a Bright. Yes, a Bright. That’s because I’m all enlightened and you’re not.” To me, the Brights sound like some sub-section of a Brownie group. I’ll stick with ‘Atheist’, thank you very much.
I bet he calls himself a ‘Bright’.
I think that Dawkins has let some of the criticism get to him. He’s got a reputation for being vicious and uncompromising, and has been called ‘Darwin’s Rottweiler’ on a number of occasions. However, he’s actually quite polite and well-spoken. Most of his arguments are put forward with tact and thoughtfulness. He’s not the antichrist. You’re not going to see him run naked into a church on a Sunday and shit on the altar during Holy Communion, though that would make an incredible viral video.
Yes, of course that’s what Richard Dawkins looks like from behind when he’s naked.
Everyone wants to be liked. I am currently sending out ‘why don’t you love me?’ forms to all my old acquaintances, trying to ascertain how I can be more likeable. But Richard. Can I call you Richard? You don’t have to stoop to this. You’re an intelligent man who hasn’t lost their idealism– a true rarity indeed. To use the old cliché: just be yourself, and stop worrying about what others think.
Sadly, if he carries on going down his current path, we’ll probably see him as a guest judge on the X-Factor by 2011, singing a heavily autotuned duet with Mariah Carey.
Ooh, I mentioned the autotune row! Aren’t I cutting edge!