Those clothes people are clever buggers. Really, hats off to them. They’ve found a way to absolve themselves of any responsibility if the clothes they sell become torn. Yesterday, whilst on my two-yearly clothes shop, I found this label on a pair of jeans:
Click to see a larger version.
It’s ingenious, it really is. Clothes are supposed to be designed to stay intact as long as possible, so our respective genitalia isn’t revealed to the world. However, River Island have sussed that if they say that any tearing is intentional, then the customer can’t complain!
I imagine in the consumerist hell that is our future, every piece of clothing will have this label on. Those school trousers? Any tearing is intentional. That HAZMAT suit? Any tearing is intentional.
Hell, why stop at intentional fashion features? Anyone could absolve themselves of responsibility with a simple label. Microsoft could say that the Xbox 360 will eventually give off the Red Ring of Death, but this is an intentional technological feature. Boeing could say that their planes will crash one day, but that this is an intentional aviation feature. Gordon Ramsey’s restaurant could say that some of its dishes will have shards of glass in them, but this is an intentional culinary feature.
But it’s all alright. The labels would give us ample warning.