Tits.

The Sun‘s Page 3 section gets a lot of flak for being sexist. And you know what? After reading the little ‘News in Briefs’ bubble which accompanies the half-naked totty, I’m inclined to agree.

Sadly, my family had bought a copy of  The Sun today. As I opened it I found my eyes being drawn to the Page 3 section, because I have the unfortunate disability of being male. Today’s model was Peta, 23, from Essex. Having seen the boobies and feeling suitably ashamed of myself, I was about to move on. That’s when I saw a little quote with the heading ‘News in Briefs’. It’s basically a pithy remark, supposedly from the girl, about one of the day’s major events:

I took this from The Sun‘s website. Partly because I could get a better image quality from a screen cap, and partly because I didn’t want my parents wondering what I was intending to do by taking the Page 3 section up to my room.

The Sun really is made up of vindictive little shits. I honestly don’t mind about the bare flesh on show; I’m a grown up, I can handle it. What I do mind about is the cruelty which goes into selecting these quotes.

‘But it makes Peta, 23, Essex sound well intelligent’, I hear some of you say. No, it doesn’t. I highly doubt that Peta actually knows much about the fluctuations in the gold market, just as the majority of normal people don’t. I think it’s safe to assume that this well-researched quote wasn’t some off-the-cuff remark from her.

However, if you’re sat there thinking that maybe Peta does just happen to be an expert in that field, I’ve found some other ‘quotes’ of hers. Newsinbriefs.net has diligently archived a great many of these quotes, and here are some of Peta’s other ones:

Tuesday, September 14th

PETA was stunned by Lady GaGa’s outrageous dress made of red meat. She said: “It was an amazing sight and, of course, what makes raw meat look like this is the concentration of myoglobin in the animal’s muscle fibre.”

Friday, July 2nd 2010

PETA is shocked by the fat cat salaries of Britain’s union leaders. “The ethos of a trades union must surely be social responsibility and a fair deal for all. For any union leader’s remuneration to be five times that of their members’ is iniquitous. What would have the Tolpuddle Martyrs have thought?”

Thursday, May 27th

PETA backs Education Secretary Michael Gove’s tough school reforms despite bitter union opposition. She said: “There will always be those who reject change of any kind. But as the French writer Theodore de Banville said, ‘Those who do nothing are never wrong’.”

So, if we are to take The Sun at face value, Peta is also very knowledgeable regarding cell biology, 19th century trade unionism, and French literature.

I mean no disrespect to Peta, and I’ve only chosen to scrutinise her because she’s in today’s paper, but I highly doubt that she does know all these facts. I doubt many people do. If she does, then her brains should be making a lot more money than The Sun‘s photographers could ever pay her for posing with her tits out.

Why am I taking the time to get riled up about this? Because it’s cruel. The Sun are getting humour from juxtaposition. They’ve got a picture of an attractive girl with hardly any clothes on, smiling blankly at the camera. Accompanying this image is a well-informed and thoughtful quote, often with a right-wing agenda. Us blokes are meant to look at this and go ‘ha ha! It’s funny because she obviously didn’t say this, because she’s thick and we can see her tits.’

It’s one thing to put words in their mouths. It’s another thing entirely to make us feel really clever at the expense of these girls.

Riding off into the sunset on my high horse now…

Liam. LAD.

3 Comments

Having said all that, Peta has volunteered to get her tits out and is presumably happy enough to have that quote attributed to her just so long as she gets paid her regular ‘tits out’ fee. Peta may even believe that being paid to get her tits out somehow ‘empowers’ her – there seem to be all sorts of apparently intelligent women (no disrespect to Peta) who manage to convince themselves (or convince themselves they’ve convinced themselves?) of that old bolleaux, and who are we (or you) to deny her the privilege of that self delusion?

In essence, yes, it does add insult to injury to put words into the mouth of a page 3 babe that she would almost certainly be incapable of understanding, but ask yourself how many of the Sun’s readers would be able to understand the word ‘volatility’ and you can’t help but come to the conclusion that the Sun’s taking the piss out of EVERYONE involved. Personally, I think the ones who are paying for the privilege are getting a worse deal than Peta, who will probably soon have enough saved up for her next boob job, vajazzle and botox treatment and maybe eventually her own salon. Who knows, she could be the next Amy Childs… ;-)

Trackbacks and Pingbacks

[…] also write a throwaway piece on The Sun’s cynical and misogynistic ‘News in Briefs’ feature. Now, people regularly come here, hoping to find more revealing images of Peta, 23, from Essex. […]

A Very Nasty Joke | Samuel Osborne02/07/2013 at 2:58 pm

[…] breasts, but also to laugh at how the model couldn’t possibly have said that. During her various appearances over 2010, Peta offered insights into myoglobin, trade unions (more specifically the Tolpuddle […]

Leave a Reply

Name and email address are required. Your email address will not be published.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

You may use these HTML tags and attributes:

<a href="" title="" rel=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <pre> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong> 

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 486 other followers

%d bloggers like this: