Two weeks have gone by and I’m back. After such a lengthy break I should feel refreshed, reinvigorated, revived. This piece should be my return to form, my White Album. Polemic to set the world on fire. Invective that shines and shows the way. So what have I decided to write about? A hilariously inappropriate painting done by a seven-year old. Sorry.
As much as I enjoy shoving my opinions down my friends' throats, I'm going to have to take a break from this blogging lark again. I've got a busy couple of weeks coming up with law applications and whatnot, and to have any hope of having a renumerative career one day I'm going to have to sell myself to more places. Unless one of you lot wants to start paying me a decent salary, of course.
The second week of January 2006 wasn't one of my best. I received a rejection letter from Cambridge. I discovered that my girlfriend at the time was two timing me with someone I had counted as a friend. I had my January A2 exams to contend with. I also had a driving test booked for the afternoon of Friday the 13th. But the final mishap hit me with impeccable comic timing.
It was August 2008, and I was at the Edinburgh Festival with some friends. We had just watched Stewart Lee perform at The Stand. Great venue and a top set. He’s one of my idols. As we chatted to him outside, my desperate need to impress kicked in and I almost said something very stupid. […]
I recently got a Blu Ray copy of the 3D visual effect bluestravaganza that is Avatar. Remember the environmentalist themes that were so prominent throughout? No? Well, neither did the Blu Ray's production company.
Working in customer service for almost eight years has made me overly polite. I've literally spent thousands of hours of my life bending to the wills of others. This has shaped who I am as a person, as was shown when an intruder entered my tent one night during Leeds Festival.
As I settled back into the 9 to 5 wage grind and realised that Christmas is truly over, I decided it's time to find somwhere for the presents that have been residing on my bedroom floor. That's when I cast my eyes on this FCUK Deodorant/Pants combo, and its hypocritical advice on the back.
I don't normally do New Year's Resolutions. Past resolutions have always failed within a matter of days, leaving my overactive inferiority complex with enough gloating material to keep it going for a good three months. That being said, I've decided to give the whole shebang another try.