You may have seen the trailer for the upcoming prequel of The Planet of the Apes, the snappily-titled Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Well, I've been lucky enough to be invited to an imaginary preview screening. Here's my review.
I wanted to start a regular film review column, and be like that Mark Kermode. This plan was soon scuppered when I realised how expensive film tickets are now. Eight quid some places are charging. Eight quid! To save money,I've opted to imagine what the films are probably like, writing reviews based on that. First up, X-Men: First Class.
I'm having to write a review based on what I imagine will happen in Eclipse. This is because the girlfriend won't let me go see Eclipse with her, as I tutted all the way through New Moon and then gave it a really bad write-up. Ruined the film for her apparently. Hard to see how I could ruin something that was already so shit, though.